I knew I was going to have to do this sooner or later.

What's up, guys? I'm going to review a movie at the request of some people (you know who you are). Can you guess which one? If you guessed Twilight, you're right (and probably a girl). Get ready, because I'm about to dislike this movie until it cries.

Alright, in the movie Twilight, a girl named Bella Swan moves to Forks, Oregon Washington. For some reason, everything there is grey. She hates it there until she meets a dude named Cedric Diggory Edward Cullen. Edward is mysterious and lonely, which in this movie apparently makes you attractive, whereas in the real world, he'd get mugged. She basically chases him around until she finds out he's a vampire. Not just any vampire, but a sparkling vampire. His family lives off of deer blood and stuff, which is lame. Really lame.

Human blood. The breakfast of champions Christopher Lee.

Anyway, Edward's relatives, who are a smidgen cooler than Edward in the fact that they drink real blood, make the movie better when they try to eat Bella. Sadly, Edward thwarts their awesome plan by saving Bella. Aw man. Oh, one thing I don't get is the fact that Edward can suck the vampire venom out of Bella when she is bitten. I thought we were dealing with vampires, not snakes. Golly-gee, this movie is so lame in the fact that they try to change thousands of years of vampire tradition. You can't do that, Stephenie Meyer.
4/10, and that's being generous.

By the way, check out http://www.angryalien.com/aa/twilightbuns.asp. It's awesome.